Minority Problems

This blog is to share problems of being a minority, whether its a minority in religion, culture, race, appearance, ideals, etc.

Feel free to submit your problems via the submit button. Just type a few sentences and I'll make it into a graphic.

Apr 18

I have, and likely will always have, an inferiority complex against white women. On more than one occasion, I have been taken aback by the cute guy asking for my number — MINE? — instead of the equally attractive white girl standing within his line of sight. …

While social conditioning could very well be the root cause, my feelings are neither unjustified nor, unfortunately for me, lacking in contextual support. For example, a boy once ended things with me via email, no less, by stating he was no longer physically attracted to me. I believe his exact phrasing was something like, “You’re one of the only Indian girls I’ve ever found attractive (interesting!),” as though it was a fun fact, and an exclamation mark would somehow soften the message’s blow.

Three years later, I am over what he said, but I cannot forget those harsh words that cut down an entire race, over 1 billion people scattered across the world, with one fell swoop.

“Brown Girl Problems”

My best friend sent this to me today. She’s Indian, and we talk a lot about race issues and how they affect dating. Remember last week, when we talked about how “I’m only into white girls/guys” is indicative of an inherently racist society? Yeah. Relevant to this. She and I emailed back and forth about this article, and here’s what she told me:

And honestly, [this article is] something I can relate to. I spent so much of college and high school feeling ugly, and totally unattractive to white dudes (not that it should have mattered to me … but it did. 

Because somehow not being approved of by or attractive to white men made me feel left out and less than). 
It’s one of the reasons why dating [white male editor at our college newspaper] was such a surprise. In addition to how truly wonderful he is as a person/was to me, it felt validating that someone who is such an example of the American ideal - white, wealthy, intelligent, charming, frat boy - was interested in and actually pursued me. Plus, you know, good kisser.
Interracial dating is complicated, yo. 

I mentioned how we got some reader backlash from people who said they ‘couldn’t help who they were attracted to’. She said, “There’s absolutely no way to argue that the existing social structures surrounding race don’t influence dating. It may or may not influence attraction (I’d argue that it does), but it most certainly influences the choices we make once we feel attraction. ” Which is a really good way of putting it.

-Jess

(via stfuconservatives)

I wrote my first workshop piece for grad school on the systemic hatred I observed in the dating world. The white professors and white students spent most of the time voicing their anger at the piece and how much they disagreed with my “policing of people’s attractions”. It was an hour that should have been spent productively, by correcting my writing style and showing me how to improve as a writer. Instead, it was an hour that functioned more like a support group for white people who needed each others’ assurance that their racist line of thinking was okay. It was a white echo chamber instead of a creative writing workshop.

Here’s a snippet of the piece’s conclusion that I feel got to the heart of the issue:
“There needs to be a more self-conscious method to dating. People need to be willing to courageously examine their intentions, their motivations, and the reasons for their attractions (or lack there of). We need to be willing to respect our partners enough to question any societal privileges we have before entering and while in a relationship. And we should expect the same from them if we are marginalized. People who love each other have real empathy over the pains their significant other experiences, because real love involves actually seeing someone as a human being.”

- Matt

(via mellamomateo)

That’s really interesting, and not at all surprising. Folks get real defensive when you suggest that something as personal as attraction is influenced by society. And when your society is pretty racist… yeah.

If you’re reading this and thinking “But what can I do about it?”, here’s a piece of advice: remove stuff about which ethnicities you’re attracted to from your online dating profile(s). Let yourself be open to at least getting a winky face or whatever from someone of a different race. A friend of mine said she got a message from a guy on OKCupid, and when she went to his profile it said he “wasn’t into Black chicks.” She’s Black, but apparently fair-skinned enough that he didn’t notice. Or maybe she was an exception. Either way, she didn’t respond. Lesson: don’t let societally ingrained racism ruin your dating life. Erase the phrase “I’m just not attracted to _________ people” from your vocabulary.

(via stfuconservatives)

(via stfuconservatives)


Feb 17

Feb 16
  • white person, sees a group of minorities sitting together: why do all black/asian/etc people always hang out with each other?
  • *doesnt notice they're only sitting with white people*

Jan 23
submitted by musicintuition

submitted by musicintuition


Jan 21

Okay, I really hate the current design for Minority Problems, and I don’t have the time to experiment and create a better one. If anyone wants to create a better one, you can message me the design, and if I like it, it’d be the new template. I’ll give credit on the about section of the blog and the next 10 minority problem posts.



Jan 10

Jan 7

Jan 4

Dec 22
“Your heart being broken over being called racist is a drop of piss in the urinal compared to actual people of color having to contend with systemic racism, blatant discrimination, and micro aggressions on a daily basis. You get to feel bad for five minutes, log out of Tumblr, and go back to your life. Marginalized people don’t have that privilege; I suggest you check yours.”

-Crankyskirt

 

(via iseveryonecrazy)


Page 1 of 5